Sunday, September 10, 2006


I complain about ageism in the aggregate, and in the theatre and in visual and narrative arts-- because I believe that humanity lives by narrative. I want to see women on stage who have their own stories and are not prizes or nurturers or mere obstacles for the central male characters. I want to see women who look like us, like the women in the audience, not like the babes on TV. The fact that men just aren't very interested in "us" annoys me, and the fact that men mostly determine what stories get told and what the women who are in them look like really pisses me off. I hear older women say that men-- and this includes gay men-- are reluctant to work with not-young women as colleagues or to assist them in realizing their own visions: it's a situation that is fraught with unresolved mother-issues, and easier for them to avoid than deal with.
OTOH, in personal relationships I can't complain. My first husband was 6 years older, my present is 5 years younger-- and I've had love affairs with men twice my age and half my age (and one woman).... I play tennis with boys on the high school team, and my grandsons think I'm cool. I have about an equal number of male and female friends-- though I must admit than I am closer to the females, and closest of all to my daughter. I really enjoy my young friends , especially the playwrights and actors, and some times I regret that I don't have as many friends from younger cohorts as from my own-- especially as my friends from older cohorts are dying off! But the way we Americans live, organized around jobs and moving frequently, makes it hard work to "make new friends, and keep the old; one is silver and the other gold".


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